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The Beast


Now available on CD. "Smegma man, fucking Smegma. They started the whole damn thing. Sure there was Lee Rocky & some soundeffects 78s that set the crew in motion but screw it.. you wouldn't be blasting The Beast or any Weird Handdrawn LP with rotten ears if it wasn't for this truly motley crew. In high school my sweet momma would give me ten bones a week for lunch, come Monday by noon that shit was blown at the local rec shop. When I only had a couple of raggedy bux left from gripping Zorlac stickers, the only option was the dollar bin at the store. It was there that John Bender, Haystacks Balboa, Nik Reicnek, & Peter Catham LPs blew open my teen mind to the netherworlds. Among the giants was this homemade wreckord by Ju Suk Reet Meat. Looked amazing.. had no idea. Threw it on for nearly every day since. Mutant loops, improv from alien swamp prom & deviant horrible ideas. Changed my life. Just what a young mind needed to replace the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Found out later it was from the Smegma camp, a strange unknown mystery troupe from Portland. No photos ever... just a numbling clip on a RRR comp video Lessard gave me & Dilloway, a tunnel view into the spiritual mecca that would the Smegma klan. Before the first Wolf jaunt out west we dropped them a postcard saying it would be good to meet. Soon it mangled into a recording session. We would be so honored. The day came. The Smegma house, totally pink, queued us in to rainy green Portland. We knocked. A femme voice said through the door, 'use the bell'. Nate pushed it and out came a gargled electronic siren. The door opened, Rock 'n Roll Jackie, 5 foot tall, grinning & long beautiful grey hair. We all fell in love. Soon after we meet Ju Suk & one by one slowly met all the Smegmas in one of the strangest nights ever. Burned Mind, Meltzer, Stan, Amazon Bambi, others. All weird as hell, checking us as much as us checking them. Yep, this is who we wanted to be with the rest of our lives... the Michigan crew had never been so inspired & moved but by this unholy blending of mutant minds... So we jammed. It was fucking amazing. Here are the results. Every year we are going to see them & hang like the best friend weirdo family. A total pilgrimage. Nate & I once got so blasted from Portland cloud that we projected that Smegma has always existed, ever since the beginning of time. Someone will always carry it on... might be this dude in Ypsi who has no face. Really. No nose, barely a mouth, always has a broken arm or something.. smells like shit. Dude is totally in Smegma. Fucking life rules. -- John Olson.